Not really a joke but funny:
Hackney: QZ21613144 VRM HV12FFL. I am looking forward to this as it's a friend's of mine. Thus spoke the Gemini Man.
"The amount outstanding on the PCN is £80.00 and will increase to £80.00 on Thursday 20 Nov. 2025. Please pay £80.00 now."
Who is responsible for this? Dr. Who? Tiny Tim? Scrooge? Tim Nice but Dim? (Harry Enfield character)Dr. Who:
The amount outstanding on the PCN is £80.00, and will increase to £160.00 on Wed, 31 Dec 2025. However, this PCN currently has an offer, meaning you can pay at a reduced rate of £80.00. This offer expires on Sun, 4 Jan 2026. Please pay £80.00 now.
Do I detect a thread of desperation there? Begging even. "Please pay..." Begging bowl out.
Indeed, it beggars bailiff!
Indeed, it beggars bailiff!
Which reminds me: I must trim the Bay Leaf Tree.
During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students: "Students, If you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom? Michael?"
Michael: "Just a minute, I have to go pee."
Teacher: "That would be rude and impolite!!!
Teacher: "What about you Peter? How would you say it?"
Peter: "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."
Teacher: "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you Little Johnny, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners?"
Johnny: "I would say: 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope you'll get to meet after supper. "
The teacher fainted!!
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Edit: I'd like to make it clear I didn't intentionally give this post a Bad Spelling rating. I must have accidentally hit the icon when scrolling, and can now find no way of withdrawing it.
The Titanic set off on its maiden voyage. The First and Second class passengers were all well entertained with top class acts, but the poor Third class passengers had to make do with a Third Class magician. He had a parrot which sat on his Left shoulder and whenever he did a magic trick, the parrot would squawk "It's in his pocket" or "It's under his hat" etc. Well, the inevitable happened and in the morning when the sun came up, the magician was floating, holding onto a plank of wood. At the other end of the plank was his parrot.
The parrot sat there, saying nothing, but eventually couldn't contain itself and blurted "OK, I give up - What did you do with the bloody ship?"
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