Author Topic: Humour thread  (Read 223 times)

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Hippocrates

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Humour thread
« on: April 24, 2024, 11:23:41 am »
This is the story of Sonia Snell.
to whom an accident befell.
It happened as it does to many
That Sonia went to spend a penny.
And entered in, with modest grace
The properly appointed place.
Provided at the railway station.
And there she sat in meditation
Unfortunately unacquainted that
The woodwork had been newly painted
Which made poor Sonia realise
Her inability to rise
and though she struggled pulled and yelled
she found that she was firmly held.
Her cries for help soon quickly brought
A crowd of every kind and sort
who stood around and feebly sniggered
But all they said was " I'll be jiggered
The station master and his staff
were most polite and did not laugh.
They tugged at Sonia's hands and feet
But could not shift her off the seat.
A carpenter arrived at last
and finding Sonia still stuck fast
Remarked, " I know what to do"
and neatly sawed the seat in two.
An ambulance then came down the street
and bore her off complete with seat.
To Take that wooden bustled girl
of quickly to the hospital
Where taking her by feet and head
they laid her face down on the bed.
The doctors all then gathered round
A surgeon looked said " I'll be bound
Have any of you I implore
Seen anything like this before.
"Yes" said a student unashamed
"Frequently, but never framed
There are known knowns which, had we known, we would never have wished to know. It is known that this also applies to the known unknowns. However, when one attends a hearing, Mr Rumsfeld's idea that there are also unknown unknowns fails to apply because, anyone who is in the know, knows that unknown unknowns are purely a deception otherwise known as an aleatory experience or also known as a lottery. I know that I know this to be a fact and, in this knowledge, I know that I am fully prepared to present my case but, paradoxically, in full knowledge that the unknown unknowns may well apply in view of some adjudicators' lack of knowing what they ought to know through no fault of their own.

"Hippocrates"

ἔοικα γοῦν τούτου γε σμικρῷ τινι αὐτῷ τούτῳ σοφώτερος εἶναι, ὅτι ἃ μὴ οἶδα οὐδὲ οἴομαι εἰ

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BertB

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Re: Humour thread
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2024, 10:34:32 am »

Hippocrates

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Re: Humour thread
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2024, 06:53:47 pm »
People always ask me why I wear binoculars in bed when on holiday in Greece. The answer is simple: so as to make it easier to zap the mosquitoes.    ;D
There are known knowns which, had we known, we would never have wished to know. It is known that this also applies to the known unknowns. However, when one attends a hearing, Mr Rumsfeld's idea that there are also unknown unknowns fails to apply because, anyone who is in the know, knows that unknown unknowns are purely a deception otherwise known as an aleatory experience or also known as a lottery. I know that I know this to be a fact and, in this knowledge, I know that I am fully prepared to present my case but, paradoxically, in full knowledge that the unknown unknowns may well apply in view of some adjudicators' lack of knowing what they ought to know through no fault of their own.

"Hippocrates"

ἔοικα γοῦν τούτου γε σμικρῷ τινι αὐτῷ τούτῳ σοφώτερος εἶναι, ὅτι ἃ μὴ οἶδα οὐδὲ οἴομαι εἰ

Hippocrates

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Re: Humour thread
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2024, 08:14:32 pm »
My doctor says I am allowed to eat Emmental cheese when on a diet - provided I eat only the holes.  :(
« Last Edit: June 29, 2024, 08:16:32 pm by Hippocrates »
There are known knowns which, had we known, we would never have wished to know. It is known that this also applies to the known unknowns. However, when one attends a hearing, Mr Rumsfeld's idea that there are also unknown unknowns fails to apply because, anyone who is in the know, knows that unknown unknowns are purely a deception otherwise known as an aleatory experience or also known as a lottery. I know that I know this to be a fact and, in this knowledge, I know that I am fully prepared to present my case but, paradoxically, in full knowledge that the unknown unknowns may well apply in view of some adjudicators' lack of knowing what they ought to know through no fault of their own.

"Hippocrates"

ἔοικα γοῦν τούτου γε σμικρῷ τινι αὐτῷ τούτῳ σοφώτερος εἶναι, ὅτι ἃ μὴ οἶδα οὐδὲ οἴομαι εἰ
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