I think the content looks alright. I would however be tempted to amend the formatting slightly, just for ease of reading (even though it's a short appeal by POPLA standards). Take a look at this example: Euro Car Parks Ltd POPLA appeal - ignore the actual appeal points raised, but note the format. A brief introductory paragraph and a numbered list of the grounds on which the appeal is based, followed by the details of each point. It might seem unecessary if you're only making 3 key points, but makes clear that they are separate points and must all be considered.
Agree with what you're saying
Only a small tweak but if nothing else, will be submitting this 3rd draft
Dear Sirs,
I am appealing this parking charge notice. I am appealing on the grounds that the driver did not breach any of the terms of parking as advertised by the signage on the site.
ParkingEye issued a parking charge for "either not purchasing the appropriate parking time or remaining at the car park for longer than permitted, in accordance with the terms and conditions set out in the signage".
The driver did not do either of these things.
The signage at the site (a copy of which is attached) states that tariffs only apply between 5pm-8am Monday-Friday, & all day Saturday and Sunday.
If parking is offered to the general public at all hours and on all days, then there is no ambiguity about these terms which can only be interpreted as meaning that, as regards whether parking is subject to payment of a tariff, parking is chargeable between 5pm and 8am Monday to Friday; from 5pm to midnight on Fridays; and all hours Saturday and Sunday.
The driver in this case parked on a Friday at 9.05am and left at 1.27pm the same day. Therefore, for the following three reasons, the parking charge did not apply:
1. Payment for parking was not required, it therefore follows that this limb of the creditor's allegation is without merit.
2. The second limb of the creditor's allegation is that the vehicle 'remained at the car park for longer than permitted'. However, the full terms have been reproduced above (and can be seen in the attached photo) and the assessor will notice that the landowner has not applied any maximum parking period on motorists. It therefore follows that this limb of the creditor's allegation must also fail.
3. It is not implied by the signage that parking outside the hours of 5pm-8am for the general public is not permitted. If parkingeye had meant for this, then it should be clearly stated. If ParkingEye wish to argue that this is the intended interpretation of the signage, then that term is at best ambiguous, and as such, Section 69 of the Consumer Rights Act (2015) should apply:
"If a term in a consumer contract, or a consumer notice, could have different meanings, the meaning that is most favourable to the consumer is to prevail."
The meaning that is most favourable to the consumer here is the one that means parking outside of the times stated is allowed without the payment of a tariff, and thus no breach has occurred.
As the driver did not fail to purchase the appropriate parking time (as no tariff was due), nor did they remain at the car park for longer than permitted, the charge is not owed and the appeal should be upheld.