That's a good appeal basis but I disagree on the PoFA angle when it is so obvious that wording is missing.
What you will need to do is to lead the assessor 'by the nose' to the exact requirements of PoFA.
Also, in my appeal I would very clearly and, very specifically, invite the parking operator to provide a copy of their NtK where they specifically indicate where their document satisfies the missing PoFA terms - the operator will of course skip over your request - at which point you'll be able to comment on that during the 'comments on the operators evidence' stage.
For information, there have been successful appeals on the most minor wording deviations - this is one;
Assessor supporting rational for decision
I am allowing this appeal, with my reasoning outlined below: The Protection of Freedoms Act (PoFA) 2012 is a law that allows parking operators to transfer the liability to the registered keeper in the event that the driver or hirer is not identified. Parking operators must follow certain rules including warning the registered keeper that they will be liable for the charge if the parking operator is not provided with the name and address of the driver. PoFA requires the PCN to state that the notice is passed to the driver, once the details have been provided to the operator. In this case, the PCN in question does not mention this, and therefore the parking operator has failed to transfer the liability onto the registered keeper. The appellant has raised other grounds in their appeal, but as I am allowing the appeal, it is not necessary for me to address these.