First off, it's rare to see someone post here having done so much research into the matter, so hats off to you. Smart never comply with PoFA, and routinely cancel when charges are appealed pointing this out. If you send what you have drafted, as the keeper, they will almost certainly cancel the charge. If you wanted to keep it short and sweet, you could send something along the lines of this:
Dear Sirs,
We have received your Parking Charge Notice (Ref: ________) for vehicle registration mark ____ ___, in which you allege that the driver has incurred a parking charge. We note from your correspondence that you are not seeking to hold us liable as the registered keeper, under Schedule 4 of the Protection of Freedoms Act 2012 ("The Act").
There is no obligation to name the driver and we will not be doing so. We are therefore unable to help you further with this matter, and look forward to your confirmation that the charge has been cancelled. If you choose to decline this appeal, you must issue a POPLA code.
Yours,
A couple of side points:
also to an incorrect address
Smart will have acquired the keeper details from DVLA - whilst this
could be an error on Smart's part, I would strongly recommend checking the V5C document for the vehicle, and making sure the address is correct. The last thing you want is for DVLA to have the wrong address.
Furthermore, I am concerned that pursuant to sub-paragraph 11(1)(b) (as specified in sub-paragraph 4(2)(a)), the application for our details as keeper were not made within the relevant 14-day period due to the listed issuance date, and I will be raising an official complaint to the Information Commissioner's Office over this matter.
Compliance with PoFA is not mandatory, and so them not sticking to the deadlines it mandates if they want to recover from the keeper does not necessarily constitute a breach of your data protection rights.
Edit: also just clocked the recipient of the notice is a business, who are not generally data subjects in the same way as individuals