I have put all of your points into a letter format, as below. Do I need the last paragraph in point 11 which refers to stolen vehicles? Do I need to add anything else to make it compliant with court format?
IN THE COUNTY COURT AT KINGSTON-UPON-THAMES
CLAIM NUMBER: XXXX
BETWEEN
MET PARKING SERVICES (Claimant)
and
XXXXX (Defendant)
DEFENCE
1. I am the individual named in this Claim.
2. The Defendant denies liability for the entirety of the sum claimed, and denies that any debt is owed by myself to the Claimant for the reasons stated below.
3. Although the Claimant's revised Particulars of Claim (POC) are more detailed than the previous version, the new POC do not comply with Civil Procedure Rule (CPR) 16.4. The POC remain inaccurate, lack specifics and fail to disclose how they believe the terms and conditions of the alleged contract were breached. The Claimant is required to provide a concise statement of facts relied upon and the Court is invited to strike out the claim for this reason, using its powers pursuant to CPR 3.4.
4. After taking legal guidance, I have been advised that it is not the job of the Defendant to help the Claimant get their Claim in order.
5. I will therefore (in light of my two previous points) be responding only to the Claimant's pleaded claim as set out in their amended POC.
6. The Claimant specifies that they are pursuing me as the Registered Keeper of the vehicle in question.
7. The Claimant is using Protection of Freedoms Act 2012 (PoFA) in order to establish what is known as 'keeper liability' under PoFA.
8. I believe that PoFA keeper liability is not available to the Claimant in the manner which they are claiming since they are unable to meet the strict criteria under which PoFA would make me the liable party.
9. I believe that the Claimant is attempting to recover a sum far greater than the legislation allows under PoFA.
10. PoFA specifically states that, under 'keeper liability' PoFA Schedule 4 Paragraph 9(2)(f) that, "the creditor will (if all the applicable conditions under this Schedule are met) have the right to recover from the keeper so much of that amount as remains unpaid"
11. The PoFA explanatory notes (contained within the Act) specifies at Note 221;
Paragraph 4 provides that the creditor has a right to recover unpaid parking charges from the keeper of the relevant vehicle if the conditions set out in paragraphs 5, 6, 11 and 12 are satisfied.
The creditor is not obliged to pursue unpaid parking charges through this scheme and may seek to do so through other means but they may not use the scheme provided for here to secure double recovery of unpaid parking charges (paragraph 4(6)), nor will they have the right to pursue the keeper, as opposed to the driver, of the vehicle where they have sufficient details of the driver’s identity.
The right to reclaim unpaid parking charges from the vehicle keeper does not apply in cases where the vehicle has been stolen before it was parked, (paragraphs 4(2) to (3)), or in certain circumstances where the vehicle in question was a hire vehicle (paragraph 4(7)). The creditor may not make a claim against the keeper of a vehicle for more than the amount of the unpaid parking related charges as they stood when the notice to the driver was issued (paragraph 4(5)).
12. Note 221 makes two relevant points, namely; that the registered keeper cannot be pursued when driver details have been provided and that the creditor (Claimant) cannot make a claim against the keeper for more than the amount of the unpaid charges at the time the Notice to Keeper was actually issued.
13. The Claimant therefore appears to be ignoring the requirements of the legislation on which they appear to be reliant since their 'claim' is more than double the amount which the legislation says can be recovered.
14. I believe that I have never contravened any of the terms or conditions at the specified location in the manner which the POC loosely suggests.
15. Liability for the Claim is therefore denied.
STATEMENT OF TRUTH
I believe that the facts stated in this Defence are true. I understand that proceedings for contempt of court may be brought against anyone who makes, or causes to be made, a false statement in a document verified by a statement of truth without an honest belief in its truth
Signed: ..................................................... Date: .......... ...........
(Defendant)
Address for Service of Documents:
Looks good to me.
Remember that you are a Litigant In Person (LIP) so the Court are unlikely to sanction minor formatting errors etc so don't worry about things like that at this stage.
We'll now have to sit and wait.
If you're submitting via MCOL make sure it fits.
If it doesn't you can chop the title etc. Before your numbered defence points.